Wow, has it really been two months since I last blogged? That’s pretty crazy. What can I say? College consumes my life. I was thinking about it today, it kind of makes me sad I haven’t blogged lately, especially with everything going on right now. Not just with me personally, but with this whole election and economic crisis business.
Since I’ve blogged last, both of our (Tom and I) rats died. Archimedes died on August 28th and Tesla about a month and a half later. We’ve since adopted two chinchillas from a breeder about an hour away from where we live. One is a violet and the other an ebony (a light gray and a all black). Their names are Sarin (after Sarin gas) and Sirius (from Harry Potter). They are only a few months old, and they can live to be 15 years old so hopefully they live up to that. It was so hard losing the rats after only having them for a year and a half or so.
I’ve not only been diagnosed with ADHD / ADD but also with severe depression as well as a possible memory disorder. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with the whole memory thing, but I have an appointment tomorrow to get tested for “memory trauma” whatever that is. I haven’t had anything very traumatizing happen to me, so I’m not sure what would cause that. The whole depression and ADD thing isn’t going so well. The Addreall I’m on for ADD is helping a little, but I’m still having a really hard time in school. I’m supposed to be on medicine for depression, but I just hate taking it.
For the past 5 days I’ve been taking Adderall (an ADHD medication) in the morning. Wow, what a difference, and it’s only 5mg of it. I honestly had a lot of trouble before getting on it, that just a little pill could help me that much. I can actually do my work now, in about half the time due to not getting distracted and walking around, staring out the window, surfing the Internet, etcetera. The only thing that worries me about being on it, is I don’t want to become 100% dependent on it. But so far, things have been good with me taking it. I start taking 10mg of it in another 5 days, so we’ll see how that goes. I don’t want to be zombie-like!
On a completely different note, I have an embarassing confession to make. I have never cooked anything in my entire life past cupcakes and macaroni and cheese (from the box). Yesterday, I decided with being 22 years old and all I should probably change that. So, I looked up an easy recipe on Weight Watchers website and started cooking. I made spinach, mozarella, and ricotta cheese wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla. This may not sound like a lot, but I had to mix all of it in a bowl, fill the tortillas, then bake it. Hey, you have to start somewhere! Anyways, I was a little worried how it would turn out but it was actually really good. My parents loved it as well as Tom. Now, I have the cooking bug and am going to try to find something else to make that’s pretty easy.
I have no excuse for not updating regulary other than the fact that I am too lazy to open up WordPress, type up an entry, and press the publish button. I really should update more, especially since I have a memory that lasts for about, oh, .02 seconds.
Lately I’ve been thinking about going to Graduate School once I get done with my Bachelors. Up until a few weeks ago I was incredibly against the idea, mainly because I’m already 22 (well, in another six days I’ll be 22) and still do not have a bachelors. I really don’t want to be 30 years old and just getting on with my life. These were my thoughts until I found out that if you go to Grad school for one of the sciences, Biology or Chemistry, you can actually get PAID to go, plus you don’t have to pay tuition. I really love what I’m doing in my internship right now, so I’m definitely thinking about getting a PhD or a Masters once I get done. It was all I thought about for about two weeks, but I realized it’s still at least another two years away so I’m going to chill out a little with thinking about it.
Second order of business. I’ve been seeing a therapist and have an appointment with a psychiatrist in another two weeks. After a lot of thinking, and looking at myself I realized that I need help. I’m incredibly anti-social, to the point where I don’t have any friends and make myself sick thinking about and actually going to parties Tom wants us to go to. At first I thought it was me just being a bitch (hey, I’m being honest here) but after really paying attention to what happens to me when I have to be in a social setting I realized it was more than that. I’m also going to see if there’s something that can be done for what I think, is ADHD. It’s really making me getting through school a really difficult struggle. I know I’m smart, but if I can’t pay attention, study, or memorize things then I am basically screwed.
