So far, it’s only 2:00 in the afternoon and its already been a pretty crappy day. I called my parents house this morning to talk to my dad about fixing something for me, and he told me my mom got the call that her job has been eliminated. Which is a nice way of saying that she no longer has a job. I immediately started crying because my mom has worked at the same company for longer than I’ve been alive (over 23 years) and they just let her go? I know it’s happening all over the country, which I suppose is a little bit of comfort that other people are going through the same thing. But still, to my family? My hard working mother who was so dedicated to her job? The bad part is that my dad works at the same place, which luckily he’s in a union so his job has a little bit more protection, but still.
Then, my family decided its time to put my grandparents (who have both now passed away) dog to sleep on Wednesday. He’s about 15 years old and has lived probably a few years more than he should have.
I work tonight for a few hours, but luckily my job is so mind numbingly boring it shouldn’t be too bad standing there for a few hours.
Well, I’ve decided that I just can’t stay at my house anymore. I can’t handle my brother, who is bipolar, or my mom more than half the time anymore. Everyday it’s a gamble when I get home what type of mood they will be. It’s seriously effecting my ability to get work done for my classes, as well as starting to take a toll on my health. I’m too young to get chest pains everytime my brother starts yelling or my mom starts with me.
It really drives me crazy that my mom says she fights with my brother to defend me. But then she says that she had to deal with the same thing I do with her brother (my uncle that we don’t talk to) and that she was out on her own when she was my age, and that she won’t help me. I understand if her and my dad can’t help me right now (they’re both laid off) but just the fact that she specifically says even if they COULD help, they wouldn’t. It’s just not fair to me to be in that situation. I didn’t raise my brother, I had no influence on how he is, and he’s not even my child to worry about.
So, I think I’ve decided that I’m going to move out. The problem? Oh yeah I don’t have a job. I do have my student loan money, which I suppose really wouldn’t be any different than using that for on campus housing. I really hate doing that, but I don’t know what other choice I have. I don’t know if Tom will be moving with me either. He said that he didn’t want to, or he would if I bought him a car (I think he was joking). I hate that he doesn’t understand my situation, and he just thinks I’m crazy for getting upset over it. But it’s basically just him all the time at his house, so he wouldn’t understand.
Regardless of him coming with me or not, I am really considering just moving out on my own. I don’t know, maybe it’s a stupid idea, but whatever. At this point in my life, I really don’t care.
I hope that everyone who celebrates Christmas had an awesome holiday and Santa got you everything on your list. My Christmas was alright, for some reason it just didn’t feel like Christmas though. More like just sitting around and opening presents that just so happened to be there. I don’t know if it was because of it not snowing at all, or what, but something just felt off the whole day.
I’ve had my Christmas presents from my parents for about two months now, so I didn’t have anything to open at home. My mom bought me a new pair of Gray Ugg’s (whatever, I know they’re ugly, but they keep my feet warm) and a Chi hair straightener. Tom got me a few charms for my Pandora charm bracelet (a snowflake, bunny, a glass bead, a snake, and the safety chain), two books (Icarus at the Edge of Time and an e.e. cummings poetry book), a laptop cooling pad, A Bugs Life, and seasons 1 – 3 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I’ve yet to watch the DVD’s, maybe I can convince Tom to watch A Bugs Life tonight. He received a ton of Playstation 3 games (Mirror’s Edge, Fallout 3, Mario Kart, and Mortal Combat vs. DC Universe) so he’s pretty much been glued to his television for the past few days.
