I wake up this morning, and do my daily Internet check, and happen to come across this. I know that I don’t actually KNOW famous people, but I still get upset whenever they pass away. Just because now I won’t be able to be entertained by them anymore and well, it’s a person dying. Actually, when I first heard of George Carlin, I hated him. I only read things he said and never actually watched him. Watching him brings a whole new level to his comedy.
Now, here are some of my favorite things by him:
“When people say “It’s always in the last place you look.” Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you’ve found it?”
“I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff.”
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man, living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of time… But he *loves you*.”
